Thursday, May 3, 2012

Anxiety -- feeling bereft

For twenty-four hours, 10 a.m. yesterday to 10 a.m. today, I felt anxious, bereft, desolate.  And it was ridiculous!  I knew it, I hated the fact that those were the feelings but they were undeniable.  My computer ws in the shop being "spring cleaned".  The clerk who took it said he would tell the guys in the back room that I was undergoing separation anxiety and to do their work quickly and efficiently.   I was convinced I'd have to call about 3:00 this afternoon begging for it back. But, no, they called about 9:30. I felt like Noah seeing the dove with the olive leaf.

My excuse is feeble but makes complete sense to me:  this little mechanism about 12x8x1.5 inches is my connection to many parts of the world.  I have an old fashioned land line that I do not use often.  I have not succumbed to cell phone yet -- I'm a bit of phono-phobe, have been all my life. But more than that, everything I've written -- that I didn't delete -- for the last five and a half years resides in this little container. How that's accomplished I do not understand but I know it's so.  Yes, it's also on an exterior hard drive but I can only get to  it sitting as I am now with my fingers on the keys. Well, yes, quite  a bit of it is in hard copy.  And that's a bit of a mess, in folders here and there.

The anxiety and desolation was about not having that material at hand and about not being able to access sites and people I am accustomed to reaching with a few twitches of the digits.  This would have been beyond my imagining 50  years ago.  Now I feel like a tiny lizard in that vast landscape in the photo above.  Or I did.  NOW everything is copacetic again. 

8 comments:

Conda Douglas said...

Oh, June, I so empathize and sympathize! Google blogger has just changed everything on the site and I couldn't find anything or get to it or post another entry or ... aah! This was especially awful because I'm setting up my first ever giveaway on Saturday, May 5th! Finally figured it out enough, whew.

June Calender said...

Yes,Conda, Google threw me for a loop too. I've only begun to understand the new screens. I don't enjoy these technological challenges.

FOLKWAYS NOTEBOOK said...

June -- Blogger is always upgrading and us quasi-technocrats have the privilege of figuring out all these changes. Can be maddening at times. But no one dare ask me to give up my computer -- I am addicted. I wish I was not but then again I feel that the computer has expanded my horizons both online and off. Blogging is an enlightening experience.You mention that you couldn't have imagined this computer world 50 years ago. I feel that we are just in the infancy of where we are going with these little machines. -- barbara

Bev Sykes said...

Oh, I understand COMPLETELY! Last month, for one horrible day, I had both my desktop AND my laptop in the shop. Talk about feeling anxious.

Jayne Martin said...

I'm right there with you. Sometimes when the Internet goes down I just stare at the blank screen in denial. I don't like phones either, although I have a cell, but just for outgoing long-distance. And as for changes -- oh yeah, those totally suck. I really liked your post today on "vine."

Jayne Martin said...

I'm right there with you. Sometimes when the Internet goes down I just stare at the blank screen in denial. I don't like phones either, although I have a cell, but just for outgoing long-distance. And as for changes -- oh yeah, those totally suck. I really liked your post today on "vine."

June Calender said...

Thanks for commenting, Jayne. For others "vine" refers to the Friday topic for the One Minute Writer -- a fun site that gets me started writing first thing in the morning, for only one minute. It's fun, check it out.

Ladydy5 aka: Diane Yates said...

I now have a desktop a laptop, IPad 1and now an IPad three and if they all go down the same time, I will call you on your "landline" June.